Why do I experience same-sex attraction? Others make the point that there is no cause. Some are part of a blame game. According to some people it is decision that I made. That one day I woke up and consciously chose to be attracted to some of the boys I was growing up with rather than some of the girls.
I could have changed but I wrongly chose not to. The problem is that this was not the case. As puberty began I was as instinctively drawn to some of the boys as they were instinctively drawn to some of the girls. I was simply wired differently. I carried out no rewiring myself. Though there is evidence supporting the fluidity of sexuality in some people especially women there is little scientific evidence that we ourselves can turn our desires on and off. According to others the blame lies with my parents.
My close relationship with my domineering mother and my distant relationship with my passive father shaped my sexuality from an early age. But that never happened. No adult ever laid a finger on me in that sort of way. My sexuality has not been shaped in this way by anyone else. And although sexual abuse is obviously deeply damaging there is not much How to attract gay guys that it can have that kind of effect. My lack of hand-to-eye co-ordination is another potential guilty party.
Not being able to catch a ball, always being one of the last chosen for sports teams, shaped me into someone who sexually desired the sort of man I would never be. My lack of binocular vision is to blame! But many friends had the same experience as children and are entirely heterosexual. Would I really change if I became good at rugby? That has been suggested! I was born with auburn hair. I was born gay. There is nothing I can do about either except the auburn hair is fading whilst the same-sex attraction is not.
But even if true, it would not make sex with someone of the same sex morally neutral.
All of us have genetic dispositions that lead to behaviour the Bible condemns. We could go on and talk about body image issues or numbers of same sex siblings, or whatever theory is the new kid on the block for either the pro-gay or anti-gay movements. First up is the doctrine of original sin. We were once perfect and so still have an inbuilt desire for perfection but are now imperfect.
All human beings have been born sinners — with an in-built tendency to live for themselves rather than for God or for others. The Bible clearly teaches that all human beings sin naturally. But the Bible also clearly shows that all human beings have a propensity to sin differently. Moses had an anger problem.
For David his weakness was sex. For Peter it was pride. For Ed Shaw it is amongst other thingssame-sex sexual immorality. Seeing my
How to attract gay guys attraction as part and parcel of original sin is really helpful. But at the same time, God holds me responsible for how I respond to it and whether I How to attract gay guys upon it.
Part of the dignity of being human is that our actions have consequences. Consequences that God takes seriously — seriously enough to send his son to the cross to rescue people like Moses and David and Peter and Ed from paying the full price of our sin. Original sin tells me that I am guilty, and that there is nothing I can do to rid myself of that guilt - but, as a result, wonderfully points me to the Saviour who can and does deal with that guilt by washing it away for me.
Indeed the Bible famously guarantees that fact Romans 8: The 'All things' I'm promised he'll use for my good must include my same-sex attraction. And so although my interest in the causes of same-sex attraction has often been out of a desire to change my sexual desires I think I would do better to concentrate on what God has caused to happen as a result of my same-sex attraction.
He uses the language of the 17 th century but his words have spoken powerfully into my life in the 21 st.
If you could but see how God in his secret counsel has exactly laid the whole plan of your salvation, even to the smallest means and circumstances; could you but discern the admirable harmony of divine dispensations, their mutual relations, together with the general respect they all have to the last end; had you the liberty to make your own choice, you would, of all the conditions in the world, choose that in which you now are.
Providence is like a curious piece of tapestry made of a thousand shreds, which, single, appear useless, but put together, they represent How to attract gay guys beautiful history to the eye. Website design by Creative Stream. Living Out on twitter. Living Out on facebook. Living Out on Vimeo. Why investigate Christianity if you're gay?
Why are some people same-sex attracted? How can you live life without sex? How to attract gay guys all same-sex attracted Christians come out?
Why not say you're gay? The Christian Debate over Sexual Identity How do you cope with sexual attraction as a Christian with same-sex attraction?
Is it ever responsible for people with same-sex attraction to get married? Can your sexuality change? The Church and Same-Sex Attraction. By Ed Shaw Why do I experience same-sex attraction?
My View We could go on and talk about body image issues or numbers of same sex siblings, or whatever theory is the new kid on the block for either the pro-gay or anti-gay movements.
Original Sin First up is the doctrine of original sin.
Contact Us contact us using our online form. People assume it's easy for gay men to meet guys they're attracted to, but it's not.
Some of us are in the closet, some of us are recently out. There are some things you just have to be a gay or bi guy to fully get. Maybe it's the men I attract, but I sleep with a lot of men who spit in my.